Stammering and Confidence

Stammering:

1% of the population of the world stammer and not every knows about it.

Stammerers stammer less or more depending on the situation, to whom they are speaking and their mood.

The way people stammer is very different and it's unique for each stammerer.

Stammering is not just the physical struggle in saying something but it has much more effects internally. It can destroy the confidence, ego and hope of the stammerer if left untackled. There's a war within which must be fought and won with wisdom.


When/where you need to speak:

In many places we need to speak in life and this can become a real challenge for a stammerer e.g.

1. Having a video call with a colleague or client
2. Presenting at a conference for known or unknown people
3. Having conference call with known or unknown people
4. Having a phone call to a known or unknown person

Causes of fear:

Generally public speaking creates fear for most people but this fear is doubled for those who stammer and the causes are:

1. Fear of looking foolish when stammering
2. Fear of failure in succeeding what you want your audience know or understand
3. Fear of failure in gaining the respect and listening you deserve
4. Fear that others underestimate you because you stammer

There are 2 aspects about stammering:

1. Overt:

What you see when a person stammers e.g.

• Struggle in face, mouth
• Sliding words
• Bouncing words
• Loosing eye contact while speaking

2. Covert

What is within of a stammerer is much bigger than what is outside (Overt). This involves the fears, negative emotions, feelings and thoughts which are developed gradually within e.g.

• Getting depressed
• Loosing confidence
• Getting dissapointed and sad
• Developing a fear whitin as described above which results in avoiding behaviours and not doing any action
• Avoiding stammering which makes it worse and persistent e.g. avoiding situations of speak, avoiding words on which we stammer more
• Self-hate because the voice system is unable to glorify the power within and meeting the expectations

Tips:

• The more you avoid stammering the bigger the fear becomes
• You must allocate time (about 15 minutes) to practice speaking fluently every day
• You must consult an expert and therapist if you haven't done so yet
• The more sensitive you are about changing yourself, the more stammering you get

Possible solutions for the stammerer

The best advise is to attend therapy courses and to consult with a good therapist.

My other advise is to practice regularly every day for about 10-15 minutes the techniques you learn.

Unfortunately, there is no known cure for stammering but there are some suggested solutions to consider:

• Understand stammering, emotions and behaviours involved with it.
• Desensitize yourself about stammering. Love yourself as you are even when you stammer.
• Use block modification techniques including pre-block, in-block and post-block modification techniques
• Relax your voice system and shoulders frequently.
• Do something to boost your confidence every single day.
• At the time of failure, don't get disappointed but create a new positive experience.
• Pray and ask guidance and strength
• Speak slowly and smoothly with confidence
• Practice and practice and practice and never give up
• Self-advertise yourself. Say "I stammer please bear with me". In this way, you turn stammering to your advantage and credit so please will listen to you better.
• Listen to your voice and the way you speak while speaking. This helps to have control over how you speak and consequently it can enable you to change the way you speak.

Boost your confidence:

• Know that it's your right to stammer so don't fear or shame of it, go for it!
• Know that it's your right that people listen to you and if they don't they have issue not you!
• Show respect and listen well in communications
• Have proper posture and show your confidence in your posture; the way you walk, the way you sit
• Exercise regularly
• Keep your eye contact while stammering
• Practice every day
• Read positive and self-development books
• Prepare properly before your talks
• Self affirm positively and keep doing so with visualization and in details.
• Learn from failures but forget them quickly. Remember the success stories and repeat them
• Help others to boost their confidence as well
• Controlled and positive aggression is essential in boosting confidence
• Have 10-20 deep breathing every hour
• To be confident you must be courageous! The Courage to stand out in the crowd, the courage not just to be a face in the crowd!

LINKS:

http://www.stammering.org/