Being Optimistic vs Being Pessimistic

Problem:
I was grown up in an environment that honesty and truth were hailed and dishonesty was blamed and disgraced. Indeed, lie was somehow a stranger in my life.

However, the fact is that the outside world (society and business) is not driven by honesty but by need and fear often which may leed to lie and deceiving approaches.

The world is full of lies, some are releaved soon, some very late and some never.

Recently, I had a discussion with a Customer Service Officer from Three and I wanted to cancel my mobile contract that it was only one day that I had got it! She lied, lied and lied and at the end she said we can't cancel your contract because you said you have used the new mobile phone we sent you which is a big lie and I never said that and I never used their phone. If I want to get it further I have to take it to the court which costs me more time and money obviously.

In other occasion, when I was looking for job through job agencies I heard so many lies from them...

Why Many People Lie?

• They need to lie to get what they want
• They fear of the truth
• They enjoy lying
• They don't have believe in God or even if they do they don't trust God that they can fulfill their needs with honesty

Solution:

There are 2 main attitudes we can have with people:

• Optimistic: it's high likely that people are honest unless it's proved otherwise.
• Pessimistic: it's high likely that people are dishonest and deceitful unless it's proved otherwise.

Being optimistic or pessimistic are both good and beneficial we just need to be aware when to choose which approach.

The attitude we choose to have at each time determines our behaviors, words and thoughts. Before choosing our attitude we better do a quick analysis on the other person's needs, fears and believes, then we will be able to choose a wiser approach.

We would be happier maybe if we always be optimistic; however it's not a safe approach and indeed it's very naive sometimes.

With sales people specifically, be pessimistic because they have needs which are against your needs. I have also friends who are in sales and they all acknowledge this.

I Choose To

Why using this phrase in our sentences every day:

• It underlines the fact that it's our choice to think, act, speak and believe in a way we think, act, speak and believe.
• It removes the unconscious feeling of being victim and to be affected directly from our environments, parents, friends, etc
• It emphasizes the personal responsibility of all our deeds, thoughts and words
• It strengthens our will power
• It provides us full awareness of our deeds, thoughts and words
• It prevents others to manipulate you

Examples:

• I choose to be hopeful despite of all the current problems
• I choose not to be afraid of failure
• I choose to exercise 2-3 a week
• I choose to work for my current company or I choose to change my job
• I choose to be self-confident and self-assured
• I choose to be wise
• I choose to focus on solutions after identifying the problems
• I choose to see my friend, Cyrus, at 5pm today
• I choose to believe in what I think is right to believe
• I choose to write this blog in the way I did

Therefore, stop blaiming others for what you are, because ultimately you are what you choose to be.

How Should We Prioritize Our Works?

The fact is we, human beings, are not multitasking robots and we are highly efficient if we focus on one action at a time. Can you go to cinema, go to gym, go to work and go to see a friend at 2:30 tomorrow?!

So, it's extremely important to have a proper prioritization strategy for our tasks.

Strategy:

1. List and review all the tasks you have for this week - To Do List
2. Write the consequences of doing and not doing each action for each day - Analyzed List
3. Whichever task has a more severe/important consequence should take the higher priority and must be done first - Prioritized List
4. Do the task with the highest priority - Action
5. Go to 1

Tips:

• As long as we are alive and we have something in our "To Do List" basket, this loop never ends
• The "Prioritized List" is not a rigid list and can change as time pass on. New tasks can join the list or new events can happen.
• Some tasks don't require any action, they are a process, and we can do other tasks while that task is done. For instance, we can read a book during the time we are going to work with train.

How to Speak with Posh British Accent

Why?

• It's convincing
• It's charming, attractive and enjoyable
• It's important in team leadership and management
• It's important in sale
• It adds prestige in the image you create in other people's mind
• You feel much better about yourself

How?

• Add rhythm in your sentences
• Pronounce all words clearly - don't swallow any words
• Pause between sentences and breath deeply - don't rush into sentences
• Be polite, tactful, respectful and professional - don't be rude or unprofessional
• Relax and calm and - don't be tense
• Add slight smile and few face expressions - don't frown or appear feeling less
• Speak assertively - not weakly
• Believe in what you say, speak confidently and with certainty
• Choose words carefully - expand your vocabulary

Next

• Check British Parliament Channels
• Observe posh speakers
• Practice to master this skill

How to Overcome Unconscious Inactivity Mind Trap

What is Unconscious Inactivity Mindtrap?
Unconsciout loops of contradictory thoughts that Leeds to locks, indecision, depression, headache and inactivity of mind.

Example: Jack wishes to buy a new car

Once force:
Jack knows that he needs to change his car. He is tired of his current car because he doesn't like it also he has to pay lots of money to repair it. He has seen a nicer car and wishes to buy it.

Opposite force:
He doesn't have enough money to buy a new car nor does he wish to get a loan. He doesn't know how to sell his car. What if the new car is not good either? What if I will have to pay so much for repair of the new car? What if ...

These thoughts often are unconscious, which means there are available but leads just to headache, depression, indecision and inactivity. Some people go to sleep for hours...

There are many other examples you can think of such as migration, marriage, school, friendships, relationships, job, business, buying a new house ...

How to Overcome - step 1
The first step to overcome this issue is to be aware and conscious of these unconscious mind traps. To solve any problem, the first step is to identity the problem.
So, if you have reached to a point that you have realized you are in the mind trap, that's the starting point.
The quicker you become conscious the quicker you can solve the issue.

How to Overcome - step 2
Write down all your thoughts and worries on a paper. Then organize and categorize them so that you can measure the problem easier.

How to Overcome - step 3
Identify which parts you don't know how to. For instance, if one option maybe getting a loan, discuss it with an expert or a friend who has taken it already and has experience about it.
Answer to all your unknown questions.

How to Overcome - step 4
Write down the options you have to decide. For the car scenario, options are as following:

• Keeping my car and living with it
• First buying a new car, then selling my car
• First selling my car, then buying a new car
• Buying and selling at the same time
• ...

How to Overcome - step 5

Value each option, analyze each situation and choose the best possible option. Don't be perfectionist. Use your feelings to decide the option combined with logic. Logic alone can't help.

How to Overcome - step 6

Focus and take action on the option you chose.

Keep Up the Spirit

For all people, life is sometimes up and sometimes down inevitably.

To be happy and confident when everything is fine is not hard nor an art. 

To stay confident, hopeful and keeping the spirit up at the hard times is what makes you a real unshakable winner.

Focus on What You Want not What You don't Want!

to be written...