Friday, 30 April 2010

Anger Management

Perhaps you can't avoid getting angry but with practice you can and you should control how you behave when you get angry.

A quick anger can be devastating. We sometimes get angry too quickly and say or do things that we regret later soon or late.

Anger-Management is a vital skill that every individual needs to develop within.

Why do we get angry? What is Anger?

Simply put, we get angry and frustrated when we are dissatisfied about something or somebody. Showing an anger is showing this dissatisfaction.

Anger is a strong emotional feeling.

How do we show our anger?
The more emotional we are, the harder we find controlling our anger.

The negative immediate responses come to our mind to get rid of this anger are:
  • Shouting
  • Swearing
  • Throwing things around
  • Physical actions against the person who has caused this anger
All these are negative, inappropriate and non-constructive. It is a must to recognize that what devastating impacts your anger might have on another person or the situation.

How an Intellectual Manages His/Her Anger?

1) The first thing an intelligent person should do is to develop Self-Awareness. Without being aware about yourself and your emotions and thoughts, you can't control or change anything. Be honest with yourself that this thing is making you angry more or less.

2) The next attribute you should have is immediately guarding your deeds and words so that you can prevent yourself doing or saying anything stupid or unhelpful as listed above. Develop Self-control and patience so that you can achieve this. If you can, that would be a good idea to take your time and leave the situation so that you have time to calm yourself down and thought through what happened and why that thing happened.

3) The next thing you should be doing is to calm yourself in a way that you can talk calmly, fairly and gently about the thing which is making or has made you angry.

4) Change your focus on the solution rather than the problem. The more you think and talk about the problem, the more you become angry but when you change the focus on the solution and how you can achieve it you can get a better result.

5) Control your facial expressions and eyes not to show your anger, sadness or frustration, instead relax and smile to things that make you frustrated, then you will see that the frustration will quickly go away :)

6) If the anger is still there, don't leave it until it reaches to its boiling point since it could be very dangerous. Prevent your feelings from building up and festering into a bigger problem.
Best is to express your anger and only in a healthy way which is productive and respectful. Try to be specific rather than general about how you feel. Describe the specific behaviour that you don't like then your feelings. Be fair, express your positive feelings as well. This has a great list:


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