Thursday, 18 March 2010

How to Forgive Your Own Mistakes?

Realizing the Problem of Not Forgiving Our Own Mistakes:

Imagine you have made a mistake and you don't forgive yourself, how would you feel? What are its impact? What is the problem?
  • Constant self-blame
  • Horrible feelings
  • Anger
  • Lower Self-Esteem
  • Lower Self-Confidence
  • Fear
  • Offended
  • Sadness
As you see, it is extremely unhealthy not to forgive ourselves.

Moreover, if you don't go through this suggested process to forgive yourself as explained below there is a high possibility that
  • That mistake is misunderstood because no specific time allocated to think about that situation
  • That mistake is repeated because its lessons were not learnt properly and as a result that person will stay in a loop of uncertainty and self-blame.
Why Should We Forgive Ourselves?

Obviously, to get rid of those negative impacts of not forgiving ourselves. Also forgiving ourselves has many positive impacts on us that will be explained.

Another important matter is that it is God's will. Bible says that God's will for your life is that you be joyful always, therefore if you don't forgive yourself you can't be joyful either and that's against God's will for your life :)

How to Forgive Your Own Mistakes?

It is important to go through this process and understanding each step.

1) Acknowledge (5min)

Be honest with yourself. Define, acknowledge and accept your mistake for yourself.
  • What was my mistake exactly?
  • Where did it go wrong?
2) Learn from the experience (10m)

Ask yourself the following questions:
  • What did I learn from this mistake?
  • How could I behave differently that could have a better result?
3) Share your mistake with someone else (10m).

This helps yourself remembering the lessons and also it might help the other people who are already in the same situation. So this experience becomes a very positive one.

4) Forgive Yourself (5m)

Forgive yourself. we are only human beings and everyone makes mistake. No one is perfect. Mistakes are inevitable sometimes. Don't blame yourself. You're worth much more. Don't let the mistakes define you. You're worth much more.

For this step, you need to say with your mouth that you forgive yourself. Spoken words have enormous power.

5) Think about Compensation

This step is sometimes optional and depends on the type of mistake which has been made.

Sometimes our mistake has hurt other people or things. In these situations, it would be wiser if we think what we can do to compensate that damage. E.g. money, time, love, service, help, smile, apology depending on the type of damage.

Sometimes just showing sympathy and understanding for their hurt or simply an apology is sufficient.

Ask yourself:
  • How would I compensate my mistake?
6) Move On

The past belongs to the past and no one can change the past. Let it go and move forward.

  • If you believe in God, prayer would help directing this process more properly
  • The timing specific above is obviously dependent on the type of mistake. Some mistakes take shorter or longer to be processed properly.
Benefits Of Going through This Process of Forgiving Yourself?
  • Higher Self-Esteem
  • Higher Self-Confidence
  • Higher Self-Love
  • Learning Lessons and gaining experience
  • Staying Happy and Joyful
  • Helping others by sharing the experience
Challenging Thoughts?
  • Where is the limit? I mean are all types of mistakes forgiveable really?
  • Best is to go through this process daily or at least weekly even for small mistakes e.g. on the train, before bed, etc.

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