Living your life with Regret and Shame or Power and Joy?

We sometimes make mistakes, serious mistakes or minor mistakes. We make poor decisions, very poor decisions with bad consequences. We get hurt and feel revengeful. Bad events happen, wars, earthquakes, etc - Worries and anxieties pour in. We invest in businesses that collapse. Accidents happen, etc. Marriage gone wrong? relationship gone wrong?

This is the downhill cycle and make us feel regretful, weak, shameful and depressed.

Everyone will experience it at some point in their life to certain degree.

The question of "why", makes it even worse as you'd dig down into why things go wrong in order to learn lessons from the experiences (root cause analysis) but get stuck in the why for too long.

The freedom, power and joy comes when you change your focus and ask yourself the golden question everyday:

"What can I do about it now?"!

If you can't do anything about it, worrying about it doesn't help so simply search for something that you can do something about it!

If you can do something about it, then you must focus on just doing that.

The good news is there is always something that you can do something good about it.

This simple formula is life changing, unti-depressant and empowers you to be in control of what you can be in control without feeling like a victim about anything in your life.

The speed of your mental power recovery depends on how quickly you can mentally move from the state of "OMG, Why!" to "Understood, what can I do about it right now".

And the joy and peace pour in when you are in control.

Personal Power

Personal Power is your ability to take positive actions and positive words despite all challenges and obstacles and in all circumstances.

It's a can do attitude with a focus on Solutions, Creativity and Decisiveness.

Your ability to destroy negativity and despair.

The easiest and most effective solution to develop Will Power to do what you planned to do!

Problem:

You've planned that you will definitely go to gym at 6am.

Time is 6am and you don't do it!

Your mind is distracted with a lot of thoughts, conversations, dreams, etc.

You feel tired. You feel sleepy. You have doubt, etc.

Simply put, you lack Will Power.

To me Will Power is basically the ability to do what you planned to do.

Technique:

Here is the technique: Repeatedly Command Your Mind.

It's easy to demonstrate that. You just keep telling yourself:

Gym now, Gym now, Gym now, Gym now, Gym now, Gym now, Gym now, Gym now

As many times as you want. The more the better.

Nothing is more powerful than this technique to incorporate Will Power.

Or imagine you decided you won't have breakfast in the morning instead you will have only water until lunch.

You simply repeat to yourself.

No breakfast today, no breakfast today, no breakfast today, no breakfast today, no breakfast today, water until lunch, water until lunch, water until lunch.

Or imagine you've been thinking to call someone since morning but haven't done it yet.

You switch on the technique and tell yourself:

Call now, call now, call now, call now...

This will overwrite any other thought/distractions happening to you therefore you will be left with no choice but do it now!

Why this technique works?

The reason is simple.

It's about the power of Focus and the Power of Words.

But most don't understand how that works.

This technique overwrites any other conflicting thoughts that will come to your mind by yourself or by others therefore it will empower you to actually do it.

It will bring you peace, certainty and will power.

Next?
Apply this technique in every area of your life and everyday.

How to recover from Low Mood and Depression Very Quickly?

Problem:
We sometimes feel exhausted then this exhaustion leads our mind to get frozen and not being able to take any good action.

This results in us becoming unhappy or depressed which can last from minutes to days.

The depression mood is very expensive. It leads to the loss of concentration, it degrades our productivity and wastes our time.

The sooner you tackle it the quicker you recover from this mood.

Why?
Too many tasks, too many challenges, too many battles, overwhelmed with workload, people challenges, etc.

Having challenges and never ending tasks is natural.

The problem is we keep working hard without re-filling our mind and body tanks with positive energy and without release our mind from the power of negative thoughts and energy. There are always negative energies, things go wrong, conflicts, etc.

What is the root cause?
The root cause of the problem is that we have lost control over our own mind and we have let the challenges of the circumstances and people around us overwrite our thoughts.

How to Recover Quickly?
The solution is to regain control! Control over your mind, not over people or circumstances.

The process using which you regain control is:

1. Awareness: Identify what is bothering you? What is your challenge? What is your concern? what are you afraid of?
2. Replacement: Create replacement thoughts / action plans that will serve you and help you. What are the positive replacing statements you can make which serves your feelings and mood? What are the positive replacing actions that you can take straight away?

Create a table with 2 columns for each.

Keep doing this mental monitoring everyday so you're always on track and in control :)

How to Be Respectful to People

Being respectful is the most difficult mission for most people as people are often self-centered.

How'd you behave when someone else is disrespectful to you, is insulting? What thoughts come to your mind? What actions come to your mind? What words you'd like to express?

Here are some tips to become more respectful and have good manners:

1. Be as polite as you can always
2. Be thankful and appreciate anything good comes to you
3. Be tactful
4. Be considerate
5. Don't engage in arguments when environment is unhealthy - escape
6. Maintain eye contact with smile when listening
7. Listen actively by contributing
8. Maintain an open, relaxed and friendly facial expression, avoid frowning
9. Pay attention to people and surroundings, their needs
10. Think before you speak
11. Ask questions that are not threatening. Why did you do that  vs Any reasons?
12. Speak indirectly rather than directly.
13. Treat everyone as your future potential client or employer
14. Look for good in people
15. Be helpful
16. Let go of anger

Difficult situations: Disagreements

Appreciate the point of view of the other person. Assert that you've heard him/her.

State facts

Stay positive

Stay solution oriented

Stay purposeful

Express the goals

Find a common ground that you both can stick to

Don't:

• Don't talk negatively about anyone
• Don't gossip
• Don't be frank that you say whatever comes to your mind. Think twice before you talk so be tactful and considerate of other people's feelings and thoughts.
• Be constructive rather than destructive

Self Control

Self Control is the most important quality of a human being.
The ability to tame the body and mind and to direct to the right actions, thoughts, words and visuals.
It's a quality of spirit from above and not from the earth.
If you don't have self control, you're probably walking on a path of self destruction soon or late.

The only great way to develop self control is via fasting. Fasting and banning activities that are not fully helpful to your mind, body and spirit and instead doing activities are very helpful to you.

I'm fasting from today until Chirstmas to tame my body and mind, banning certain activities that are not particularly helpful like visiting some news sites and incorporating other activities that are more helpful like going to Church, etc.

From Pain to Strength

Betrayed by a friend loved and trusted. 

Lessons:

1. Always sign written contract with others specially with your friends with whom you think you have trust. That's to avoid miscommunication and misunderstandings, protects you and them.
2. Always think about risk management if things didn't go according to your hopes. Ignoring risk doesn't remove them.
3. Always verify every claim someone makes and never simply believe what you hear. Due diligence always. Some people easily lie to deceive you to use you in their interest.
4. Be sensitive and indirect in your criticisms as some people may respond back irrationally. Always start and end your criticism with appreciation.